When I Lost You - Merilyn Davies

When a young couple are the lead suspects for the murder of their only child, Crime Analyst Carla Brown and DS Nell Jackson are assigned to investigate.

The evidence seems conclusive, but something just doesn’t feel right.

The case is quickly cast into doubt when the lead forensic pathologist starts receiving threatening letters – containing details only the police should know.

Who’s sending them? What do they want? And how did they get hold of the information?

As Carla and Nell dig deeper, it soon becomes clear that this case isn’t the first of its kind.

They must stop at nothing to find the truth – even if it hits close to home.

When a novel's prologue ends with the words "I did not kill my baby!" you get an idea in your head about how the story is going to go. On reading the synopsis too, you think that the book is about the couple who have lost their child and in a way it is. It's also so much more! 

When I Lost You starts with DS Jackson and DC Mackintosh called to a flat in Oxford over a reported death of an infant. Nell Jackson is convinced that it's another Sudden Infant Death but on arrival Eve Graham, the pathologist tells them it's murder, and not only that but it was the mother who killed the little girl. Nell Jackson is back at work after being stabbed thanks to a crime analyst missing a vital detail so when she finds out the new DCI wants her to work closely with Crime Analyst Carla Brown, she can't help but be resentful.

Nothing about this case is as straightforward as it seems. There are letters being written to the pathologist, essentially calling her a liar and accusing her of ensuring innocent women have been convicted thanks to her testimony. Nell and Carla aren't entirely sure what to believe as they both know Eve but what if she is getting it wrong?

When I Lost You is part police procedural and part psychological thriller, told in two different timelines simply titled Then and Now. It's quite confusing at first, especially if you don't realize that's the case, but this is what makes the story such compulsive reading. Then is about two girls living in a care home and being groomed by a local cafe owner, Now is about three women who may or may not know more than they're saying. Carla is closely linked to Eve because of Eve's husband Gerry who was her first sergeant and is utterly determined that Eve would not have deliberately allowed innocent women to be sent to prison.

When I Lost You is a wonderfully addictive story, with a unique plotline, and twists and turns that you don't see coming. I will admit to trying to guess who certain people were quite early on in the book but it soon became evident that I was completely wrong. It does become obvious at one point, who the 'guilty party' is, but this doesn't take anything away from the story and it was fascinating seeing the different strands of the story coming together to an explosive ending.

When I Lost You is a gripping tale of loss, wrongful conviction, and abuse, which if not handled in the right way, could be distressing but Merilyn Davies has created a page-turner of a first novel in a wonderful location. Having gone to Oxford it was nice to see someone write about things other than the gleaming spires and students! I very much enjoyed the developing relationship between Nell and Carla and sincerely hope we get to see more of them in the future!

Huge thanks to Rachel and Arrow for a copy of the book in exchange for my honest opinion of the book. If you want to try When I Lost You by Merilyn Davies it's currently available for the princely sum of 99 pence on Kindle UK and can be found here.

When I Lost You - Merilyn Davies

Publisher - Cornerstone Digital/Arrow

Release date: Kindle/eBook - July 1st, Paperback - August 22nd, 2019

Find - Goodreads | Kindle UK

About The Author

Merilyn Davies is a former Crime Analyst with the Metropolitan Police who worked as part of the violent and hate crime unit for eight years. She was inspired to write about strong women working in the police force thanks to the incredible women she encountered on the force and was fascinated to explore the relationship between civilians working in the force and police officers, drawing on her own experiences being married to a serving MET officer.

She decided to set her debut thriller in her home city of Oxford, but the action all takes place away from the dreaming spires in parts tourists don’t stop at. She studied Sociology at university and is fascinated with the manner in which society leads people down criminal paths. She was a co-founder of the Chipping Norton Literary Festival and now works for Oxford City Council. Follow Merilyn on Twitter @nellbelleandme

A Good Girl's Guide To Murder - Holly Jackson

The case is closed. Five years ago, schoolgirl Andie Bell was murdered by Sal Singh. The police know he did it. Everyone in town knows he did it.

But having grown up in the same small town that was consumed by the murder, Pippa Fitz-Amobi isn't so sure. When she chooses the case as the topic for her final year project, she starts to uncover secrets that someone in town desperately wants to stay hidden. And if the real killer is still out there, how far will they go to keep Pip from the truth?

Oh. My. Goodness. Everybody knows how much I like my YA thrillers and I've read a lot of them over the past couple of years as they've gained in popularity but A Good Girl's Guide To Murder (GGG from here on out!) is one of the best. It's also a debut which makes its 'grab you by the throat and don't let go'-ness even more astounding! I've been incredibly lucky with my reading recently in that everything I've picked up has been good and I've read it in one go. GGG was no exception, I picked it up at about 9pm and finished it at 1.30am - that's how good it is! I literally could not put it down.

I was desperate to know who did it, was it really Salil 'Sal' Singh, the boyfriend? He confessed by text message shortly before killing himself so everyone has accepted that as the universal truth, if in doubt it's the boyfriend. Pippa Fitz-Amobi isn't convinced though so chooses this as her EPQ (Extended Project Qualification - equivalent to half an A Level) and sets about trying to discover what really happened to Andie Bell. Is it just me or does everyone immediately think of Erasure or Oasis when reading the name Andie Bell? Nope? Just me then...

Going against her advisor's warning not to contact the families involved Pip contacts Ravi Singh, Sal's younger brother, who is only too happy to help Pip with her investigation when he discovers that she thinks Sal might be innocent. Pip's best friend's sister was best friends with Sal so Pip feels invested in finding the truth if only to help Sal's family but there's definitely more to this case than meets the eye. Pip and Ravi are soon totally immersed in chasing down leads, interviewing people, and generally sticking their noses into places where they really shouldn't. Pip starts to receive threats by text message telling her to drop the investigation but of course, she's not going to. It's only when tragedy strikes that she stops what she's doing to try and keep her family and friends safe.

GGG is a rollercoaster of a thriller and I tell you now, there's no point trying to guess who did it if Sal didn't. There's misdirection on every page and you're never quite sure who's telling the truth and who's not. Pip starts to doubt everything and everybody, especially as her investigation starts leading her down a dangerous path. The story switches between third person and Pip's coursework documenting her finds. There are EPQ forms, maps, drawings, and interviews with people Pip thinks know the truth, all of which add to the page-turning power of GGG and make it an even more compulsive read. It has the perfect amount of moments that will make you gasp and at times you will want to yell at Pip for putting herself in danger, it will make you laugh out loud, and it will make you cry - well, it made me cry anyway...

If you're a fan of Serial, Veronica Mars and YA thrillers then A Good Girl's Guide to Murder is well worth investing your time in. My only doubt about it is, if GGG is this good as a debut then how on earth is Holly Jackson going to improve in her next novel?

A Good Girl's Guide To Murder - Holly Jackson

ISBN - 9781405293181

Publisher - Electric Monkey

Release date - May 2nd, 2019

Source - bought in bookshop

Find - Goodreads | Book Depository | Hive UK

YALC 2019 Reading List Part 1

Yes, you can believe your eyes... I've not only finished my reading schedule but I've also made a header - go me! My reading schedule is split into two parts because, well because it's rather large! I think there are 44 authors on my list at the moment and I'm almost certain I've forgotten to add a couple too. There could well end up being a third part to this list if I have. Apart from actually putting together a reading schedule, I've also made a start on the actual reading and written some reviews. I know, what's wrong with me? Who is this strange person actually being organized? Enough with the sarcasm, here's part 1!

Ben Aaronovitch - Rivers Of London (whatever number I've got to, not the whole series!)

K.K. Perez - Sweet Black Waves

Mary Watson - The Wickerlight

Eoin Colfer - Artemis Fowl (#7, #8 if I have enough time)

Derek Landy - Skulduggery Pleasant: Midnight, Bedlam

Kiran Millwood Hargrave - The Deathless Girls

Sharon Doggar - Monsters

Renee Ahdieh - Flame In The Mist

Melinda Salisbury - State Of Sorrow

Sarah Maria Griffin - Other Words For Smoke

Yaba Badoe - Wolf Light

V.E. Schwab - This Savage Song

Vic James - Sanctuary

Zen Cho - Sorcerer To The Crown

Emily Barr - The Girl Who Came Out Of The Woods

Holly Jackson - A Good Girl's Guide To Murder

M.A. Bennett - The Island

Karen M. McManus - Two Can Keep A Secret

Key

Bold - Read

Purple - Own

Red - Borrow From Library

Weekly Wednesday #1

This is a new and hopefully regular feature on the Outsider. I really want to get back into blogging more than twice a month so fingers crossed this will help! I'll mention books I'm reading or have read, new books that may have accidentally landed on my desk, and movies that I've been watching - both big and small screen. Let's start with the books!

Currently Reading

After devouring Now You See Her I was so excited to receive a copy of Come Back For Me in the post a couple of weeks ago. An unknown body buried in the garden and a small island community is making for some tense reading! It's not out until July 11th in hardback but it came out in e-book format on June 1st, and if you hurry you can pick it up for 99p as a limited time deal on Amazon during June. I'm taking part in the blog tour so look out for my review on publication day!

Now the twins are 9 (!!!) they're reading more, especially E, so I like to check out books I think she might like. The Middler is by Kirsty Applebaum and published by the wonderful Nosy Crow. It's about Maggie, the middle child, her older brother Jed and her younger brother Trig, forbidden friendship and betrayal. I'm only about 25 pages in but loving it so far.

Up Next

This is the first of my YALC 2019 reads and I cannot wait! I loved The Wren Hunt so much, it was one of my top 10 books of 2018. In fact, I'm contemplating doing a re-read before delving into The Wickerlight but trying to create a YALC reading schedule before I decide.

On The Big Screen

 I'm off to see Dark Phoenix tomorrow, and apart from the fact that Sophie Turner is playing Jean Grey, I've managed to avoid spoilers and reviews. Really hoping this one lives up to the hype!

I saw Godzilla: King Of The Monsters yesterday and loved it! I love monster movies and will quite happily watch them for days! There was a man sitting in front of me though who obviously didn't share my love of Mothra because he alternated between playing with his phone and falling asleep and snoring - loudly...

Can't Wait For...

Hurrah! A new Jackson Brodie from one of my favorites, Kate Atkinson. This novel has been a long time coming and I always just assumed that there would be no more new Jackson stories. Very happy to be proved wrong! Extra bonus - Jason Isaacs, who played Jackson in the television adaptation, is going to be at ComicCon 2019...

The Body In The Mist - Nick Louth

A brutal murder hints at a terrifying mystery, and this time it’s personal.

A body is found on a quiet lane in Exmoor, victim of a hit and run. He has no ID, no wallet, no phone, and – after being dragged along the road – no recognisable face.

Meanwhile, fresh from his last case, DCI Craig Gillard is unexpectedly called away to Devon on family business.

Gillard is soon embroiled when the car in question is traced to his aunt. As he delves deeper, a dark mystery reveals itself, haunted by family secrets, with repercussions Gillard could never have imagined.  

The past has never been deadlier.

Welcome to the third instalment of the DCI Gillard series by Nick Louth, and what an instalment it is! Gillard is now happily married to Sam, still puzzling over why such a beautiful woman would want a grizzly workaholic like him, when everything is threatened by one phone call. A deadly hit and run has taken place in Devon, the victim is unidentifiable but the car belongs to one of Gillard's aunts and he is summoned to Devon to sort out the whole sorry mess.

The story is told from two different sides, from Gillard's point of view as the one who's family is being investigated, and from DI Jan Talantire's as the official investigating officer determined to get to the bottom of the mystery. It's clear from the start that Gillard is highly uncomfortable being back in his aunts company, and the two women couldn't be more different. Trish is a former teacher, living in the house she shared with her ex-husband, Howie, who ran away to Thailand and Barbara, large in both stature and personality, running the family farm and struggling to make ends meet. Thrown in to complicate the situation further is Podge, or Uncle Phillip, a former reverend well known for his social injustice campaigning and now living in a nursing home, suffering from Alzheimer's and unable to walk.

It soon becomes clear that there is far more going on than what has already happened, and Gillard is dragged back into the nightmares of his childhood. Trying to deal with his abusive and abused aunts is more than he can bear but trying to distance himself is impossible and he's drawn back in almost against his will, bombarded with constant phone calls, having to drive back and forth to Devon, and discovering long buried family secrets, some of which are shocking even to Gillard as a serving police officer.

The Body In The Mist manages to be a well-written police procedural with multi-strand storylines converging together to make one of my favorite crime novels in a long time. Far from feeling spread out the various elements all weave together, forming a tight-knit tale which is impossible to put down, and impossible to predict who did it. Murders both old and new, a court case, and a sheep-killing beast are the main focus point of the book but it's the characters who balance out the story perfectly. Every single character, whether they're mentioned on every page or only appear once, is larger than life and not forgotten once you turn the last page. 

I'm exceedingly pleased that this is not my family but the person you have to feel sorry for throughout the entire novel is Sam, Gillard's wife. Deeply unsettled by his entire family, and especially the lecherous Podge, she starts to wonder just how well she knows her husband but stands by him and supports him through the whole case. I'm just not sure how supportive she'll continue to be given the twist in the tale, on the very last page, which will make you rethink and/or doubt everything you've just read. Brilliant! This series gets better with every book but you could also read this one without having read the first two as each is a separate story. I guarantee though, that you will want to go back to the beginning and read The Body In The Marsh anyway! Now starts the wait for book four...